chai & bun makkhan

Evolution of friendkind & womankind on phone

2007-11-20T16:18:00.000+05:30

root cause analysis: diminishing no of single gurls in the friend circle
paper presented by :chot khaya anshul

class 10 -

regular anshul : so wots new ?
abc single gurl : umm nuthin much,some movies ,some nail paint and blah blah
irritated anshul :nice nice....
voice of the angel : gurls are a waste
anshul : so true angel,ur the man

class 12 -

regular anshul : so wots new ?
xyz single and looking gurl : umm nuthin much u know i met this guy ....and ..he is...
little concerned anshul : oh wot does he do ? where is he studyin...
voice of the angel : she's kinda nice but she can be so silly at times
anshul: i know, angel

engineering - 1'st yr

regular anshul : so wots new ?
abc taken gurl:umm nuthin much u know "WE" went to the movies
surprised anshul: weeee, .....wait a min ,whooo
abc taken gurl:arrey u know rahul/robert/raj rite....
kanphused anshul: nooooo
abc taken gurl:ooh cummon ,ofcourse i "MUST HAVE" told u about him
not been told anshul:nooooooooooo
abc taken gurl:oh how cud i,anyways u know this guy rahul/robert/raj
putting 2 and 2 together anshul : wait a min ,is'nt he the one...u...
abc taken gurl:i know ,i know but u know we kinda gotta together,and u wudnt believe it anshul it's so great to be in love....
barely composed anshul: ah yes..,am sure he is a gr8 guy and blah
voice of the angel : cummon she was never your type
anshul : yeh i figure so angel

engineering - 4th yr

regular anshul : so wot's new ?
abc madly in love gurl : oh anshul i have to tell u so much, last weeknd "WE" went to goa...
ground slipped beneath the feet anshul : ahan...goa so u must have been to..white sand beach1 and green sand beach2 and purple mohrang beach3 and blah...
abc madly in love gurl:yeah we went all these places and theres this rocky beach7 cliff beach13 and he bought me ...blah.....
perforated by bullets anshul:that is so sweet...
voice of the angel :as long as she is happy...u know
anshul: hmmm ,i guess that's all that matters angel

job 1'st year

regular anshul : so wot's new ?
abc realizing harsh realities of life gurl: oh man things have not been so nice lately..we hv been fighting a lot ..lately..and blah
friendly wisdom imparting anshul : ohh cummon that's just a part of the process
abc realizing harsh realities of life gurl: no man but how cud...he.........and blah
more friendly wisdom imparting anshul : hmm...it's not so rite i guess..but i guess it can all be worked out ...
abc realizing harsh realities of life gurl: anshul why is he behaving like that......u only tell
running for cover anshul : umm aahh i guess ...see it is this way(how do i know i dinn go goa with him !)
voice of angel : she needs ur help anshul
anshul : ohh really angel !

job 2'nd year

regular anshul : so wot's new ?
abc soon to be married gurl: umm nuthin much ,"WE" r getting married
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT anshul : u mean u and rahul/robert/raj?
abc soon to be married gurl: arrey no..rahul/robert/raj...was never the right one for me..there's this great guy shankar/krishna/rama
struggling for words anshul : oh that's so nice to hear ...
abc soon to be married gurl: wot about u anshul...didu find any gurl
this question was so uncalled for anshul : yeh ,sort of,i duno..it is ..
voice of the angel:it had to be... .this way u know...
anshul: am not so sure angel

yesterday

regular anshul :so wot's new ?
younger sister of gurl once anshul was seeing :u know,she's expectin !
insulated anshul:
cold anshul:
frozen anshul:
numb anshul:
totally freaked out anshul : wa......(choked)............ow
voice of the angel : she has her own life now ...u know.....and so it goes
great my once loved is bearing children now anshul:SCREW U ANGEL

The other day

2006-11-08T17:33:00.000+05:30

The other day
preface :

dear readers ,
since i'm jealous of all the people who can write gud poetry..i repeat gud poetry
i decided to challenge em in the open..
actually man i ws writin some junk when all of a sudden it did rhyme
then i had this magical idea..that i shud cover my stay so far in blore in poetry
as it turns out...i gave up rhyming midway..and then i figured i had invested too much time
to abort it ..so here's all the crap u can read below..

oh u know the other day

i got me an auto n i got ripped
i got me a bus ticket and i got kicked
oh n when i got me a road i ran a deadend

i got me a flat and i got a halfdozen flatmates
i got me a matress and i got a pillow for a headrest
oh n when i got me some music playin , i got my crazy neigbours complaining

i got me an office n i got me my corner
i got me a coffemachine and i got me a swivel chair
oh n when i got me some softwares to fix, i have never quite swivelled ever since

n u know the other day
i got me a a....

i got me a breakfast n i got me some dosa
i got me a lunch n i got me some idly
oh n when i got me a dinner ,i dipped me some sambhar

i got me an evening and i got me a pub
i got me some spirits and i got me real drunk
oh n when i got me wasted that sat night , i earned da ritual sunday hangover

i got me to the mall n i got me ooglin chinkis in tubetops with skin so white
i got me a crush and i got dreamin all night ( oh crap u dirty mind !)
oh n when i got my half jackal roomie to wake me up ,i realized i had missed da office bus

n u know the other day
i got me a a...

i got me readin the local news and i got me figure a free rock show
i got me wear my metallica shirt , and i got me to the open air concert in city outskirts
oh n when i got to hear the guitar just zing , i was drenched in the rain down to the thing

i got me a fryinpan n i got a shiny pressure cooker
i got me a connection n i got a roarin cylinder
oh n when i got me a match to light , i smelt a gas leak from the stove down under

i got me a bucket n got da detergent powder
i got me a fancy mop and i got some green liquid cleaner
oh n when i got me my morning cleaning to make,i had wrecked myself with an allnoon ache

n u know the other day
i got me a a....

i got me deepawali n i got some noisy crackers
i got me a party n i got me invite my college seniors
oh n when i saw no one came ,i had to eat but all da cake (and drunk till late)

i got me a phone and i got a new number
i got me some pretty friends and i got yappin long hours
oh n when finally the month did finish ,i went out for loans to fish

oh and the other day

i found me livin in "b a n g a l o r e"

ps : even if think it sucks ur supposed to give rave reviews...in my comments
and just in case u figured u can do without givin a commment ..u get my usual blessings
u &%($)$_)$*,%$%^^^,$^%^& ,$%%%
amen

My relationship with Paris Hilton

2006-05-27T15:28:00.000+05:30

I’m feeling fresh as a cucumber,had a late night shave and an acrobatic bath …acrobatic why…coz when…the shower won’t work and u dunn have the resources (read balti and mugga,some fuker stole my mugga ) u need to pull up all ur baba ramdev yogasanas to wet ur butt…under a tap the height of ur kneecaps [;)]

it’s 4 am…..just back from the third snack break..for the nite..!
it’s awesome once to ccd,once to lambu ka dhaba and once..to..the petrol pump..
except, the only glitch is they all end with some friend reminding “just 2 weeks to go before it all ends”…..grim reminder…ones that I’d rather not have…….ones that make me think of doin of stackin all these things into these 2 weeks..all at once ….guess things dunn work this way though

anyways chk this out…this sure does make life better !
breakin news .
my friend “A” presently doin…phd from Atlanta
has a gf ..whos’ doin the same….(phd I mean)
who has a chacha in LA ( btw chacha=uncle ,for understanding of angrez nikampoops)
who is a vet
happens to treat Paris Hilton’s bitch (as in the real bitch the dog and bitch kinds bitch)
so wow na !
I have never felt so close to paris hilton…not even with her tape !

Well that’s about the most interesting thing that has happened in my life for a while !
So u can gather wot a sorry state of affairs it is…..
Exams n shit…got one more(last ) to go…….i have been studying a bit…
Courtesy some kutwas.,
Kutwas =dogs = guys who study too much…..
Technically evry one is entitled to their 10 hours of doggiedom the nite before the exam
(ek raat ke liye to kutta bana hi deti hai life)
However there r some…breeds…who..raise the bar…by studying way in adavance…
Turning into tigers, ligers,tigon and wot not (for the unitiaated refer wikkipedia)
And now these r kind of ppl(or doggies) who have made my life miserable..
I had never felt …such peer pressure before…..i wonder y folks say…..that u can’t study in the hostel…has worked just the reverse for me….
All this being said….my grades…will stagnate just the same
Coz uttar pradesh technical university makes it a point not to ask wot anshul dua has studied ,So technically….i end up studying way too much…(by past standards)
And getting the same grades…..
Which makes me so guilty

I guess I need to go revise the paris Hilton tape….
it’s a guilt killer….…….
there r other guilt killers here in abundance…..
particularly fascinating……is when…u save a story as a web page(yeah we r not talking about Macbeth ,and discovery of India)….and windows saves it as files
so u end up mantaining

1) the exciting bus journey files
2) rita ,my new secretary files
3) the african safari files

Lol……..makes my computer sound big and important…
The only thing u need to be warry of is ur dad getting hold of these documents
Otherwise tha’ll pretty much make up for a “anshul dua ,jaydad se bedakhal files”

PS:anbody havin more of such files may duly mail me,regards

Life’s ironical…quite a bitch too..sometimes..no pretty often

I had been out of soap for quite a while…
I put it off n off n off
finally when I did get one I did splurge,
Palmolive aroma therapy ..hell yeah baby (am entitled to therapy exam time ,rite??)
So all excited…as I venture out for my grand bath
Tragedy struck like lightning in a rainy november nite
I realize…some fuker has stolen my sabundani
I guess I shud have stuck to hamam
Last to last week it was chirag’s
Last week mine
This week faiz…
Considering..the room number of the victims Praveen seem to be the next target
Some “sabundani luteres” …don’t want the B- block first floor folks to bathe
(sets me thinking is there an english word to a sabundani …soapcase….is it?..)
But then “soapcase bandits” is kinda corny so I’ll stick to my desi version
Sadistic people here at the hostel
Jaini had his mugaa stolen…only to discover…
that R usmein roj subah..chane bhigo ke khata tha for 1 full month…
I only hope my sabundani is not makin for some…flowerpot

I had my verizon interview scheduled…the day of our college rock show
It ws rather disheartening to…miss the one thing u have worked so hard..for..
And worse of all….the interview was a disaster….
And I had to..come back without . Sittin by the toilet…in the bogie…
Observing the toilet habbits of 72 ppl in the bogie,who unfailingly all wake up at 15 min intervals…to pee..once a while they like to spit their pans..and..and some like to puke…too.
Jaini taught me how to tie shoelaces the way his dad taught him
And I taught him the way mine did ! the only constructive thing we did thru the trip

We have no clue about our TCS joining dates as of yet….
Infact all the fizz of startin a new life n carreer has died out even before it has started
Half the time our conversation dwell around

how much tax will we pay
If we’ll have to downgrade from wills classic to capstan
Wether we will have to switch from baccardi..to thaili
Whether…u can afford to go to a multiplex and still have popcorn
Will ur gurl friend not ditch u for an oracle guy
And all such crap

I though have established a strong foothold …
I now have a chat gf in
(for the timebeing it’s not feasible to hv gurls in three dimensional space…so orkut fills in)

Trivadrum
Bhubaneshwar
And Hyderabad

Covered the likely training centers(pat on back)

Besides I learnt that TCS pays u 60k if u get married…in house I mean within company
Plus some substantial surprise..gift, that sure does define one solid goal for the time being

Any volunteers…?

Perception issues -:

Who am I ?

########

I went to this marriage party with dad, within 5 mins….the brides father comes over…
Puts his hands paternally over my shoulder..and starts profusely apologizing..”beta Tuesday hai is liye we cudn’t keep drinks,I hope u dunn mind…im so sorry…”
Wot the fuck do I luk like a darual…?
I swear I went in clean shaven,formal dressed ,Mr goodie2shoes..

Mirror check

#########

went to buy….books…for the exams.,it ws actually a Photostat that was compiled..
The seller..refused to give me the full 5 units…even on repeated insitence..,said “ u have these four units.i’m doin this for ur own gud,u save money coz u wont’ be able to do five units…anyway “ phew !
Mirror check

############

”A” now a very close friend of mine….said that …he wud never dare to talk to me…
When he dinn know..me…I ws kinda…”yo types & snobbish”

Mirror Check

############

sample some profiles I got add requests from on Orkut

a) this gurl is doin..social work ,works for under privileged children…and wants to do some…phd in the same…thinks I’ll make a gud friend…
Huallah
Serious Mirror check

b) some mrs gupta,had her status as open marriage,thinks I am cute…
Sweet fuckin mother of god wot has this world come to

c) there’s another one who makes sculptures and sketches,and wants me to find her a sitar teacher . yaah rite…I have majored in rousseau,and monet .besides metallica ki leads sitar per hi to hain.

Nevertheless there r worse cases…gaurav gets friend request from guys from brazil
And Portugal who want to discuss…vhdl and circuit design…lmao

###########

I make great friends with gurls who r already commmited : or as a matter of fact ,they do get involved soon after meetin me,needless to say I’m not the one that makes the couple .am I some catalayst..?
If so I’d like to play negative catalyst
It is usually in the third week of my aquaintance….that I come across this glorious piece of information..

Say I’m talking to her and she wud casually say

“ohh not today…I’m goin with anuj”
“anuj who? “
“array my boyfriend..stupid!, I was just telling him about u “
Yeah rite!

Even worse…is when u hear
“we are getting married –and I so want you to be there “
Egggjactly y not.....

Worsest of all if there is any such word
“ u know anshul ,u shud fall in luv too ,it’s a wonderful feeling,I haven’t felt so happy in my life “
“yaah ,I feel so happy for u guys “
(so happy ki suhmita sen ki miss universe jitney wali feeling hoti jag uthi,hasi bhi ati hai.aur aanso bhi nahin rukte)

So am totally clueless…y all this happens…
Do these committed gurls think that I’m a totally harmless person
Or if I think the other way around which is highly plausible..i’m sure u all wud agree
They..r seeking something exciting beyond their present relationship
(pran wala twisted lip curl)

MIRROR CHECK

thirsty

2006-03-27T00:30:00.000+05:30

I’m kinda thirsty today !

I dunn know if it’s too sublime a way to describe oneself.
But indeed I’m terribly thirsty today.
I have withdrawal symptoms evry 5 mins..
Water isn’t exactly helping.
Am at home so there ain’t so many options either..
But to grin and “beer” it :D

Am just done with my weeknd….
These days life as it is all weekends .
no classes, no books, no studies
Few class test’s far an between…
Sometimes it is so lame u dun’t even feel like cheating…

Hey btw I did get my scorecard for 7^th sem,.which honestly is quite more than I deserve…haven’t seen so many marks for a while…(wide grin)

Past couple of days been hectic ,wait I need to tell u this first…I played my six string first time before..an audience…wsn’t exactly nervous..but yeh..it’s a sweet to feel the euphoria in da end.

Alrite alrite they did clap if not euphoric

I did “aadat” “who lamhe” and “pal”…
Screwed up aadat bigtime..but nigam did a mighty fine…job with vocals
i..really dinn have to do much.

And u know why anshul ws there in the first place..
judging juniors..for their vocals skills…lmao
they actually gave me a score sheet which read
name confidence clarity modulation pitch and
some other similar crap.

as it is my singing skills r legendary in B-block.
The most compassionate feedback I ever received
ws after I made puffy hear me sing (read bear) -that thing u do- was “ thik tha but u know koshish kiya karo ki kabhi gana na pade tumhe ! “ and he has never luked more serious in his life . L

but but but…. guess wot..
a pretty young gurl comes up to me,
in the end to ask me if I cud teach her guitar ..cool na ?

I haven’t been grinding my ass..with the guitar for 2 years just to hear myself strum
have I.?

<>So wot if it’s the penultimate month of my final year at college !
Is it ?

<>So wot if I dunn have a tour bus with a bunch of groupies !
Don’t’ I ?

<>Am still a rocker .
Am I ?

<>Poor rocker in ways more than one..but yeh rocker alrite !
Get it !

<>U better do OK !

I sure am !

Observations :

Here’s wot happens as ur talkin to a pretty gurl .

N out of the blue asks if I’ll come along with him to da hostel.

J just decided to burn her a cd that hypothetically I have recommended !

B decided that I need to accompany to falana next day.

V has an unmistakable michevious light in his eyes .

A few “laggey raho” remarks fly in the air !

Inferences :

1] U discover new compassionate guy friends that were always around u but u never noticed

2 ] she does have a pretty nose ring !

ps : sorry about the fuksik formatting..it's itchy business
and btw if u read this and u dunn leave a comment
i'll leave nasty comments about u in my heart !

woh wali thi niharika singh

2006-02-25T12:13:00.000+05:30

woh wali thi niharika singh

last night was a scream
had some amazin fun.
here comes the morning sun !
it's 5 am i'm up awake alert and alive
fuk mah head's gonna explode
f*&k mah throats dry
fuk it's..it's quite a surprise.
think i'm drunk
or maybe i'm just dry
think i'm done
when the day has just begun

honestly i haven't seen too many sunrises.
this one is courtesy abhishek srivastava.
it's rather tough to sleep when someones been threatening to puke...
wotever is left in his innards rite over you
i never have treated a human skull such disdainfully as i hv been doin to his all nite
evrytime...he'd turn it in mah direction i'd grip it like a
fuk i dunno like wot
u get the picture dunn u all u gotta do is open up ur palm
and grip a face the best possible u can
and shove it literally shove it back to where it was
(the above procedure is best advised when ur adversary is shit drunk
preferably passed out..the consequences otherwise can be fairly nasty
alcohol does coz u to think that u have mystical powers of kung fu
resultin in gettin ur ass kiked)

huh !
gave up finally
i'm up awake alert and alive
and i dunno wot to do about it

am in varanasi IT- BHU
the fest sucks the best it cud
there ws some kinda fashion show yest with
promises galore..of niharika singh (fem miss india)
and other babes walkin
well it ws such a dampner
u dunn barricaed ur audience a
fukin friggin hundred metres from da ramp
that way with or without my eyesight
any one on the stage with a pair of tits
seems like niharika singh
there was quite a speculation in the audience
woh wali hai niharika singh
nahin woh wali

anyways who gives a flyin f%^k

last night was a scream
had the awesomest fun
fun that vodka brings
as it goes down the throat
slowly...makin u feel evry inch of ur foodpipe
not to forget the grass puffs
kashi special.
right from the banks of ganga.
and the wild dancing that followed

sorry ma ,'ill go to the temple too i promise

nyways i dunn hv nythin more to say
today promises to be better
rock prelims all thru out
so ciao

think i have had enough of the morning sun
i 'd get back to sleep
abhishek is already makin me jealous.
luks way too peaceful in his slumber
think am gonna shove all of him to the floor this time
and take my rightful place

adios amigos

Of bikes ,bruises and empty val days !

2006-02-21T22:10:00.000+05:30

Of bikes ,bruises and empty val days !

Aaj fir pil gaya !
6th ( 3rd credible)accident with mah bike.
I’m sick of it
Y do I keep fallin down all the time
Seriously am annoyed with myself
It’s no fun ,sittin with swollen blue clot thumbnails.
With green guitars lukin
laughin.
Bigtime
With impeccable timing..i have managed to screw up again !
Leave alone practice I’m wondering… if I’d be fit to play at KY..in time
I’m seriously prayin I do !

I wud have so loved to relate my heroics on the road to mumma..today !
Banged into a full scale army truck.
Then ofcourse I’d earn the necessary reprimands!
and the customary disadvantages of buyin a black coulured bike
Which can be fun when it comes from my Ma
she is out of town though.
Am all by mahself at home

Sets me thinkin
Shud I have had a “fanto”..usne to dupatta fad..ke mere haath ki bandage ki hoti..
Yahan to behen ke toote foote college pahunche to..ek wise ass ne kaha..ki chot per after-shave laga lo
Teri ma ka !
Wot’s more hospital gaye to..ek pyari si doctor aunty thi
Matronly figure…luked totally harmless
I aked for a tetbac injection
By joe..
All the luvin was gone in a flash
Itni tej danta !
“ hoga to pura treatment hoga,keval injection nahin lagega”
And it wud cost me a hundred bucks
Sale pata nahin itne mein to leta kar glucose na chadha dete.
when chirag..wud drive a needle into my ass..for free.
100 rupess…no way sir..!

Last resort – college doctor
Sasta and tikau
Add to that totally pakau
Damn he was happy to see a patient.
Ek bakra mil gaya.
This is how he goes about it

“u know helmets can coz deaths or paralysis”
“when it hits in the c2 ur dead and if it goes into the c4 ur pralaysed for life”
“And usse to marna acha hai”
And then a big fat grin…
“kyun hai ki nahin usse to marna acha hai?”
Meri fat gayi
Mein kya reply doon
All I have is a sore thumb.

Sigh !

Happy val day folks.
Mine ws uneventful like the past 21 feb fourteeens .
Think I spent my evening down at brijendra’s.(college dhaba).
Such a handsome place to…be isn’t it
Ofcourse there is the consolation of havin ur entire guy (read gay)group along.
Who’d talk the most romantic things..
Offer to buy u chai and jeera biscuits..(val ke uplaksha mein)
And all they need is a lil luvin at bedtime…..lmao !
Wots more
I did receive a couple of offers
Chiru - wud be a nice take shud I expand my horizons( has..rudimentary boobs already)
Then Paua too
who went down on bended knees.( I wonder wot his intentions were)
and humare evergreen gulab singh !
val day or no val day..is always ready
pinne se hain…pacemaker and defibrilators per jeevit(courtesy ashish singh)
but..harampan mein sabse aggey !
neways there is gud news..
last heard prerna broke up with her bf…so I can go fishin
though yeh paue ki hypothesis hai..
I’d so like to believe in it.

Chalo I’ll hit the bed now.
Am planning to attend my first class this sem !
Gudnite

Sorry dinn post it at night.
I did attend my first class though
Gosh it ws tiresome
Ruined my entire day. Felt sleepy thruout

2006-02-09T00:24:00.000+05:30

Time tide and asa ram wait for none!

Asa ram mujhse khafa hai !
Implications…….
Serious grave,,survival is at stake

Who is asa ram !

Anndata !
The most important person in B-block..
Asa ram from time immemorial is…the chap who brings us chapattis
Chapti chapatis

Ghee wali on left and sukhi on right !

Mess workers come and mess workers go !
Some shuffle their tasks..say serving salad..one day,and sweets next
Asa ram has a one track mind.
the legend of asa ram …

Notorious..for his habit of askin u just once..
Grab ur..chapati or it’s gone ,
Haath ko aya but muh na laga !
10 haath ayenge, aur plate saaf !
and asa raam is gone …into his den
where mysteriously he emerges…
with a fresh stack..and a fresher grin
time and again .
n again

only to be grabbed by 10 more hands…only to coz Asa ram to slip back to his den

slip

slippery

It’d be fun to slip into his shoes…for once !
Think I’m gonna try it on val day !
To we wanted by so many guys…can be quite slippery…lol

Shut up fuk off..dirty minds..

So today is chapt 2 of mah blog
It’s mid day
And as usual abhi sanak chadhi hai…so am on a writin spree
A lot has happened since

Lohri.. happy lohri !

We had like this small bon fire in..front of our house

Me pa and ma !

Happy lohri

Our lohri

The express train lohri

A few neighbours…wrere around !
Wot do gentleman talk about when they get together ?
About railway timetables !

Wot does anshul do when he is alone
Eat pop corn !

For some insane reason…old folks-middle old ,real old,wannabe olds…r deeply attached to the rail networks of India.

U oughta see da gravity on their faces when they talk about a new train .who cares if they stay in lucknow and it runs from bhatinda..to kanyakumari !
Even if there is not a rat’s ass chance of thier 10^th cousin..boarding it

“ Bhaisab bahut hi badhiya hai express hai…
nayi chalu hui hai (pan thuka—pich pich ki)
And kul 2 stop ek mughal sarai ek kathgodam !
Din mein office. Nipato.,raat ko soie ghar per subah destination per ”

Fir ek million dollar grin
jaise beti ke raat ko khud hi train chalate hon

“Acha …iska route to lekin…..ramgarh se ho ker hai”

“Nahin yeh falana se line badal leti hain”
confidence aisa jaber jaise inka damad..line ke lever…chalate ho !

“nahin nahin…yeh dhimaka se route change karti hai”
(counter argument to marna hi tha)

“array nahin bhaisahab kya baat kar rahe ho..yeh
ramgarh ho ker jhumritalyiya se line badalti hai”

“ohhho …“..serious thot…

and wot is poor anshul doin all this time
wondering how a line change can change lines

destiny !

busy popin popcorns in his mouth

pop

corn

pop

yeah we get pop corns,and mungfuli and..revadi and..kheel khelone
on lohri !
+ a bonus free internary ,all mapped out by ur friendly local uncle – unkil
isn’t that uber cool

so if ur not Punjabi ur missin out on all da fun
u can have Punjabi friends though
mono Punjabis ..
not stereo ones...

meee toooo
I’m missin out on lotsa fun
Got demoted to mah home..again .!
Life’s been a bitch

Am helpless
Daddy got transferred to a kikass place called basti
For the geographically challenged..
Consult..oxford school atlas..reverend state of UP

All bcoz of this bitch
No not life
A real one..in flesh and blood !
Dad’s boss !
Bitch boss…..
Not a boss u’d like to have !
Not a boss ur son wud like u to have
Quite a boss ur son wud…like to kill

Bullu yest in a very pensive mood got excited all of a sudden “kasam se ek legal killing allowed ho to mein - malvia…ko pail doon”…lmao

Bichare ko uske prof ne bahut sataya hai

…………pail ……

multifarious uses…

anshul dua..thesaurus

word-------------------------------------------------meaning

mein use pail doonga – game baja dena

aaj khana pail diya- khana suuhr dena (we’ll discuss suuhr in subsequent chapters)

aaj kal tu bumfer pail raha hai-ur studying way too much

ghanta pail raha hoon- u fuker I ain’t studying at all

pailega bol – challenge to a duel

pel doonga bata raha hoon kat le – time to disappear

aaj teacher ne bumfer paila --- madar pillay ne…extra time padhaya

test kaisa hua? pail diya -----did…awesome

anni ne girri ko pail diya – the A block dog just fuked the B block bitch

ps: this blog ws never intended for virgin eyes

readers kindly note : consequences of changing “pail” to “pil” can be very fatal

user discretion is advised

chai and ban makkhan

2006-01-13T01:18:00.000+05:30

hii....

well i'm bored...bored several times over of wot bored can be..
so am starting a blog........tht's a f'in gud reason..:D
no..i'll give u another one...umm how about it being a new year and i had to do sth new..
no..well..then..coz i have too much spare time
naah actually wnted to do that..ever since i knew dere ws sth like a blog

but been puttin it off.... n ..off n.. offf.....am the undisputed king of laziness

had..a terrefic day...vegetated all thru it..
only thing dat came of it ws ...penny royal tea.
i kinda managed to..play it on mah guitar...
it's amazing...wot seems so difficult..to play at first..can become so comfortable wid
practice...

well thts' wot i do practice and practice and practice..
all day long all week long all months..long all years...sorry abhi too much ho gaya..
been abt 2 yrs since..i got my "greenie"- my six string ,yeah...it's green....and it's mine
and it's greener than urs..:D ,if u have a guitar ie..
n if u don't ..u can very well burn in dante's inferno..!

m thinkin about startin a band now... a college band..
.. with or without a drummer and a bass guitarist and a singer..and an audience
hehe...waited for em too long...
so it's just gonna be..guitars and..more of em...
and a tour bus..yeah...tht's totally neccesary to start a band nyway...wot say !
groupies...too...that wud be a nice subtle touch..:D
damn...i oughta stop fantasizin..

coz i oughta be studyin....man one more...exam to go..FMS this sunday...
wonder...wot's gonna come of it..i seriously wonder...
am a wonder kid..
...no...but it's like..been givin dese fuckin exams evry alternate sundays and gettin
results evry other alternate ones...
no prizes for guessin wot those...results r like...
all aplogies..from all institutes...
hey no...i have this savin grace one call from narsee munji..
which mumma calls..as mithi bai for some reason...and daddy calls as..sardar patel...
with such brand recall..i'm only waitin till someone christens it as babu banarsidas....

so here i am... with a
"life post no calls"....wow..totally wow..
feel like i shud dig a hole and burry myself in..really in..really really in..
i mean mah percentile is just about wot everyone's is ..and by evryone i mean those that
never studied for it.....or if ur takin offence to be pc "studied lil for it"
u know u studied lil for it and gota gud score..and i hate u for it
sorry but i do
am not so sorry actually am lying
and i did study for it..practiced my ass off..not my guitar but quant...
and swoosh...
here i am... even simbi...fuk..filled it up..coz it ws like
"yahan se to ani hi hai"...the less said about the results da better.
chuck it ..

guess..am gonna be deposited in tiruvananthpuram with maloo babes with oiled hair..and
"gurhal" flowers...planted in em...yucks....
.... and idli...and dosa to live on...that too made in coconut oil.....yuck yuck yuck...

i already love my chai and bun makkhan so much...
for those not so technically inclined..."bun makkhan" happens to be staple diet of
IET lucknow...
hey tht's my college ..and it rules..(it sucks yaar..but we'll dwell into dat later)
well am in hostel now...
final yr ...of mah miserable engg.....
i thot...i'd...atleast taste wot hostel life is like..
it's gud...
so much better than home actually......(specially if u have the luxury of gettin a clean pair of chuddies..evry time u go home)
i'm ..in 216..
my room with
windowless windows..
legless chairs..
drawer sized holes for drawers( i really hate that bastard who stole mah drawer...i mean
wot wud he do with a drawer..i'd willingly give him the table..atleast he'd have sth to fit da drawer in)
and a door that threatens to open straight thru together with it's hinges
hey but i have this really cool balcony....all to myself
techinically it's for evryone but it like to think it's all mine...hehe

and...then ther's the hostel food..
bestest of all...to khicri hai.. it takes..immense expertise..to make sure that the
simplest of all dishes is unfit to eat....but yo...our chefs do it..with consummate ease..
sunday after sunday unfailingy( yeah...we get this for sunday special..:(( ..)

and did i mention my friends...
who'd...steal matchsticks..and leave..matchboxes..as a token of courtsey.
who'd...come and smoke in mah room...coz i'm gonna be cleaning my room nyway
who'd...drink my cough syrup..like it ws french champagne
who'd...eat my rusks...at tea time..when i'm not around
who'd...rob me of an entire bed.(yeah tht ws achieved..!)
..
for whom i'd give up anything to be wid !